Eeeek…. December was a bad month to start blogging! So busy… but here I am.
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in good times and bad, in happiness and sorrow…. Are there any other extremes that are traditionally (or non traditionally) said in marriage vows?
Our car broke down the other day. Definitely an instance to file under the ‘or worse’ category. Of course, it’s not at the top of the list because it’s just a car, but I wouldn’t place it under ‘better’, so worse it is. In the past, I would have thrown a big fit and asked God why He couldn’t just heal our car and save us the burden of having to spend our money on repairs. Now that I’m older and wiser, I throw only a small fit. Yes, it’s just a car. I could have let the stress of those few car-less days eat away at my marriage, but there was no need. Some great friends lent us a vehicle. Chris rarely lets this kind of thing get to him. I love that about him.
I have to laugh at myself when I look back and remember times when I’ve reacted badly to things like this. I immediately go into ‘why-God’ mode. For some reason, even though I stood at an altar years ago and pledged to my husband that I would love him and stand by him in the ‘worse’, I still allow myself to be thrown off when the worse hits.
Ever find yourself there? ‘Lord, I know I said all of those things to my wife/husband when we were married ____ years ago, but I really didn’t expect that they would get sick… I didn’t expect we could actually get any poorer… I didn’t know that there would be this much sorrow…’
Marriage is a holy union blessed by God. But it’s not supernatural. It is the union of a very human man and a very human woman living in a very broken world. So expect the bad. Expect the poorer. Expect the sickness. ‘Rebecca, you’re being all dark and Twilight-y again, where is your faith?’ I have lots of faith! I am confident that when Chris and I find ourselves on the not so pleasant side of the vows we made, we will get through knowing that our foundation is built on a Rock that is stronger than the worsest ‘or worse’!
So here’s my prayer for all of you: that when the bad times come you find yourselves surprised. Not surprised that the bad times have come, but surprised at how deeply rooted in Christ you and your spouse have become. Surprised at the amount of love you have for your spouse even in light of the pain/sorrow/lack of money/broken down car/ etc. Surprised at how much you really meant it when you said, ‘for better or for worse’.